Effort vs. Consistency

Is it better to work hard or simply make small changes every day. Lately I have been pondering this and trying to come up with a definitive answer. I made a list of a few things I have been pondering making changes in my life and thinking about what it would take to accomplish them. My biggest but not only thing on my list is losing the 10 lbs I put on from going to a desk job over the last year. I had tried insanity and believe me the name is fitting because you have to be off your rocker to finish something that difficult. In short each time I quit after only a few days. I just didn’t think the juice was worth that squeeze. Also, my schedule was so busy I hated the idea of changing my life around to find the hour a day it takes and the half hour it would take to recover. So after reading something about making change through consistent actions I decided to apply it to every aspect of my life. This included the 10 lbs I have been ignoring for the last month or so.

 

To begin, I thought about my current schedule and what I do on a regular basis. I wrote it out and pondered what activities I already do and like that I can make more beneficial to help lose the weight. For example, I usually take the dog for a walk around the block every day; I like doing this and it has been really nice out. So, now I have doubled the walking distance each day ( no more than a mile) and I have decided I hate cardio and was not going to be on a treadmill everyday. So I decided that I would try my hardest to do other adult activities at night… Every Night… Believe me Ryan has been pretty happy and It burns more than double the calories anyway. This is the extent of my working out every day with absolutely zero additional changes. I still eat the way I would like and keep my schedule the same. With the addition to these couple of activities I plan to lost the weight I have gained. I am down 3 lbs from the start of my routine and plan to continue this action indefinitely.

 

It is in my opinion that consistency in life is better than all out isolated effort. although effort gets you results faster. you will lose them equally as quick because keeping up with something that requires such commitment is typically difficult for most individuals but making small changes and keeping them up every day will get you slow results that endure. I recommend apply this to everything your business if you want to expand and grow, your children if they are not behaving the way you would like, your body, your relationship and overtime watch the small investments pay off with the happiness you are looking for.

Written by Nichole Grimshaw

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Also Check out Some similar Posts-

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Indispensable Leadership Qualities- http://happinessecrets.blogspot.com/2013/06/indespensable-leadership-qualities.html

 

Also check out my relationship help blog…. (coming soon) I will be posting all of the advice given by the experts and well known authors for free…. check out the site and feel free to ask any questions I will give you the answer you would get from the best….  and my on going love story 😉

 

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Did They Really Change?

I believe it has become one of the most popular questions; Can People Really change there ways… We have all at one time or another saw someone we love doing something that is clearly not the healthiest decision and You get yourself in to the whirl wind of trying to help them and usaully we have no success. It can be one of the most painful situations because it puts us in a place where we have to make a choice between ourselves and that person and there behavior. With many people this can be a long and painful process. For example, I have a cousin who has been a Heroin addict since I was a little girl. I rememebr what she was like before the drug, Kind and fun, she was a good mom to my cousin and everyone in my family loved her. Now I am 28 and for about the 10th time this girl is back in all of our lives. She said she has changed and had a baby during the drug phase ( again) This poor child is with her and seeing the people around her. My Family gets put in the situation over and over with no real solution because of the love for this person. If you find yourslef in a position like this what do you do and should you continually give people a second chance?

 

1. If You Say No way these people can not change- Well for the most part the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior and there are so many examples of this the man who leaves one girl for another and then she finds him in bed with someone else. This solution definitly puts an end to your hurting but it also leaves a whole from turning you back on someone who is in a bad situation.

 

2. If You Are An Optimist And Believe in peoples ability to change- There are many examples of people who pick themselves up, and do what needs to be done. Yet alot of the time people need a wake up call befor they want to and the optimistic individual tends to enable by supporting the peoson through the tough time.

 

In reality it does not matter which side of the fence you are on with peoples ability to change there is only one thing you must learn and understand in order to show compassion towards the individual and still protect yourself from the hurt of others choices if they cant change.

 

Discernement– Which is defined as perception in the absense of judgement… This means having the ability to empathize and not judge with the person and yet still distance yourself from the behavior. We are not supposed to turn on backs on those in need but this does not always mean opening our doors and hearts to people who may take advantage. This is a very fine line to play when it comes to people we love and want the best for. We need to use facts to help provide people with what they need and let them make their own choices on taken the help. We need to be careful not to allow and help behaviors that will hurt ourselves because of our love. Instead Strength and the ability to see the truth need to come through.

Written by Nichole Grimshaw

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Also check out-

 

http://happinessecrets.blogspot.com/2013/04/are-you-right-or-left-brained.html

 

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Why is Finding Love so Hard

So may people I meet have lost no hope to find the “right person” these days. Many go from one relationship to the other to find the one . This is something we are taught from very early on. I was one of these people and have made every classic mistake in dating that the experts will advise you not to do. Looking back at the mistakes I made and some of the silly advise from some of these experts and there books I am spending do much time reading I realized something; None of it really helped… It was not the mistakes I had made that destroyed the relationships, and these guys were not the devil incarnate. As soon as I came to terms with myself and stopped the games and unrealistic search things started to become much simpler and easier. Here is what happened

 

To begin, I had a thought that it was time to give up and come to terms with being alone. Now this is probably the complete opposite of what you want but I needed to realize that It was a possibility and face it like a man (lol) If like me this is a fear of yours then face it and come to terms with it because if you face your fear then there is nothing to fear any longer. So yes, I am recommending being alone for a while… I did this and it really changed my outlook and perspective. In fact I was still in this mindset when Ryan came in to my life and I have never been happier!

 

Next, I stopped worrying about why my ex’s hurt me, don’t call, play games and are a constant pain in my ass. I did something huge I changed my number and deleted there’s. I finally just said I am done with this garbage. They told me I was not good enough for them and honestly now that I look back thank god I wasn’t. I look back and think how much time I wasted on Men who rejected me it makes me sick. Instead I started spending my time having a good time with friends, making more friends, working hard, and for the first time thinking about myself and what I wanted in life…

 

lastly, Over this time I stopped thinking about the perfect man and began thinking about my perfect life. This change in accepting being alone and focusing on myself gave me the rare opportunity to create a true image of what I wanted my life to look like. I did not care any longer about qualities of a man, instead think about qualities of yourself and your life.

 

After all of these things happened to me I finally was no longer searching for a man and instead simply searching for a better overall life for myself. The ironic part is I found my prince charming just a few months later because I was no longer looking for the wrong things in life. He is perfect and if I did make a list of qualities in a man he is who I should have been looking for all along. I now focus on my dreams and am so happy with a man who supports me and loves me. If you want love then give up and love yourself first…

Written by Nichole Grimshaw

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Also check out-

http://happinessecrets.blogspot.com/2013/07/what-is-fool.html

 

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http://happinessecrets.blogspot.com/2013/06/indespensable-leadership-qualities.html

 

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On the Defense and What to Do?

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 Lately I have been contemplating making some real big changes in my life due to the quality of others around me. like most people however; I m afraid of making such a large career change because of the uncertainty. I often need to reflect and remind myself that doing the same thing will only get me the same results. Well, what brought about this thinking is a man at my work who I cant seem to get along with. I have recognized that I am consistently on the defense of myself and my character lately. I had not always worked with Steve. Before he was in this position of running the show he never bothered with me and I was happy coming to work and writing and creating solutions the way I always have. Now that he is the overseeing people he has began to make me feel attacked and even though I do not believe this is his ultimate intention and is his attempt to do  good job at the new position he is in. I have to now run everything I do by him and he does not even tell me what to do with it. yesterday, he informed me even though it was my own work I don’t need to know, he doesn’t care how I feel and I should worry about how he feels. I m on the defense and feel like work is now war. Has anyone else ever felt this way at work with someone who seems to be on a power trip of some kind? Well, for those of you who have or are now I m going to share my plan with you because there is only one reason people began to act defensive and that is because there is something to defend!

 

First of all, I am completely removing myself from the situation. someone has to realize there is no reason to fight for something when it hurts you. I am going to leave the job where I make great money and officially persue my own ventures full time…

 

Next, I am going to remember my own advice and be brave. sometimes doors close to help lead you in a better direction. Sometimes people ask why did god let this happen to me and these are the situations that make us stronger and redirect our paths. Trust in hat life brings and believe this is hat is suppose to happen.

 

Lastly, I am going to empathize with Steve so I can thank him for providing me with the opportunity he is providing me and so I can see what Steve must feel inside to make him act so poorly towards me and others who work there. Always put yourself in the shoes of others so you can see what the motivation is behind the action. I am positive that his worries must be far worse than mine and I am the Brave person to realize my defensiveness and make some real changes.

 

Written By Nichole Grimshaw

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Indispensable Leadership Qualities- http://happinessecrets.blogspot.com/2013/06/indespensable-leadership-qualities.html

Things You can Learn about Buisness or your Career from a 4 year old

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Just the other night I was babysitting my little niece. Over the course of the evening she was talking about all of the things she wanted to do. She would tell me how she is going to be a princess and her and her “horse are going to live in a big castle. Now obviously most of us do not grow up to become royalty (unless were Kate Middleton) but over our childhoods we learn skills and are told each and every day to be realistic. Children Like my niece are fearless and free to dream at the age of 4. If we were encouraged to dream our entire lives imagine who we would become. I myself would not have gotten a practical degree in which i did not really want and waste many years of my life sitting behind a desk not enjoying one bit of my life.

 

First of all Begin to dream again each and every day. visualize and write down what your life would be like in your ideal world. Remember back when you were a kid and why if you were like me you wanted to be a Pirate or a Firefighter. Begin to dream of a whole new wold even if it is something that reality could never sustain. This will help to increase your capacity for thinking outside the box and give you that same enjoyment a child would have when they are playing make believe.

 

Next, start to compile a list of things you really like to do and do them more often. Life is about having fun and enjoying the people and culture we have all around us.  There is an old saying that if you love what you do for work then you never worked a day in your life. This is very true because you would have choose to do these things anyway. for example,the love of my life loves to hunt and fish ( what men don’t!) He is going to be using this love to create his own business so he can spend every day doing just that. Or how about my friend Christina who loves children she decided to become a social worker and create a place that’s helps children in need gain better resources. There are many ways we can be happier with what we do ; but, we need to know what we love first.

 

Last, I challenge all people to go out and learn what it means to be truly fearless and brave. worrying about what might happen leads us to that exact sequence of events and yet if we simply go for it we almost always arrive at our destination safely. If a better life is what you seek be like my niece was with her first horse back riding lesson. If a 4 year old girl can walk right up to an animal 20 times her size pet him and without even a flinch jump on his back because she wants to be a princess with a  horse I am sure you can start enjoying your life and taking the steps to making your self happy!

written by Nichole Grimshaw

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Indispensable Leadership Qualities- http://happinessecrets.blogspot.com/2013/06/indespensable-leadership-qualities.html

 

 

Are you a Control Freak and How to Recognize One!

 

Recently I met someone who made me feel awful for being different than them, tried to make all plans for me including future plans and made me feel suffocated and uncomfortable. Have you ever just felt trapped by someone around you? This can be an extremely abusive relationship and the best thing to do is learn to recognize the signs so no one can drain you of your energy in order to gain some subconscious need of there own.

 

Signs that someone is controlling

 

– Try to embarrass you or put you down in front of other people

– Put down your Goals, Ideas because they do not meet there ultimate plan

– Make you feel like you can not make decisions or they simply make all the decisions

– They say they are nothing without you or they need you. (This is a guilt reaction to make you feel bad )

– Touch you or invade your space often

– Blame you for how they act or feel ( This is a guilt reaction to make you feel bad) 

– Try to prevent you from doing what you want, seeing who you want, and acting the way you want… Instead you always do what they want instead of what you want

– They are excessively jealous  

– Do they do nice things and throw it in your face afterwards

 

– Do you often feel scared of how this person will feel or act

– Do you need to make excuses to others for this persons behavior

– Are you walking on eggshells in order to please this person

– Do you feel like they would not be this way of you changed something about yourself

 

These are all signs that someone has serious issues of their own and gaining your needs through taking the energy and happiness from others is extremely unhealthy. People who need excessive control tend to do things only to meet their own needs and have no real need for yours. They may love you but will see any push away from them as a slight and try to guilt you back in to the control cycle. The best solution to this problem is to distance your self from the control and stand your ground remember you only lose yourself if you allow them to gain something from you. Instead think of these people as a child throwing a tantrum and ignore it and whatever you do don’t feel bad. You do nothing wrong by not giving away yourself!

written by Nichole Grimshaw

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click on the blog and check out some of the other control blog

 

Where are you getting your energy from- (Control Dramas)- 

 http://happinessecrets.blogspot.com/2013/07/where-are-you-getting-your-energy-from.html

 

 

Letting go of Judgment-

 http://happinessecrets.blogspot.com/2013/07/letting-go-of-judgement.html