In the Service of Others

As humans we are in constant search of happiness. Many people are filling this need with objects like our cars, phones, houses,electronics and other people. Then, in order to support our addiction of possessions that we think will fulfill the need to be happy we grow up get jobs that will make us enough to money to pay for the car, house, phones, etc… Yet, even if we have a job that allows us to gain all the “best” things in life we are still reaching for the next thing and never gaining the fulfillment. This was the struggle I found myself in not to long ago. I was working a job that would simply allow me to get by and gain possessions. It took zero creativity and I felt so under utilized. In other words I was wasting my time and instead of creating what i wanted, looking inwards, and trying to make a change I was going through the motions and placing my attention outside rather than inwards. I was so unhappy! I felt as if I was trapped in a constant whirl wind and One day I had to escape my work environment and start making a difference. I always wanted to help others in some way, to truly create change, I wanted to be free… I now believe this urge is the same for all individuals. The same urge to be at the service of others… to touch others hearts and to be free to create a better world. Some may do this with singing, drawing and writing and some may be health care workers, or firefighters… etc… Yet, all people need to find what service to humanity will make their spirit sing for joy! If you are going through the motions be brave and trust in your ability, look with in and move towards a higher purpose 🙂 In the service of others you find true moments of happiness

Where are you getting your Energy from?

 

 

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The concept of Control Dramas first appeared when we saw the popularity of the Celestine Prophecy. This Book written by James Redfield brings up the concept of energy sharing between individuals. Everything in the universe is made up of energy and we all have our own field of energy. This energy can be positive or negative, fun, loving, etc… These fields change based on our emotions and we can control the energy around us based on our thoughts. Yet, we all need a source of energy to replace the energy we lose. The most enlightened of people will gain the source of energy from within themselves and the universe; however, most of us are taught to gain it from others through Control Dramas. There are 4 control dramas and each of us tend to fit in to one category as a main way of gaining energy from others.

 

4 Types of Control Dramas- 

 

1. Intimidator– This is the aggressive personality. the person who demands attention, respect, and authority. These people tend to gain energy from others through physical gestures, glares, yelling, etc…

 

2. Poor Me– This is the counterpart of the Intimidator and these people tend to be a by- product of having an intimidator in their life. These are the people who gain energy and attention through pity of others. They want people to constantly empathize with them. 

 

3. Interrogator– The interrogator is the person who tries to retrieve personal information by constant questioning. These people tend to need to know things like where someone is all the time, where people are going, saying, doing, and are constantly asking questions assuming that something is going on?

 

4. Aloof– The Aloof personality is in turn the counterpart of the interrogator. This control drama is the person who seems to take a back seat, never caring and is always indifferent to everything. This person makes people interrogate because of true lack of caring. Although, not controlling is important being aloof is more similar to neglect.

 

Our entire lives we have a constant depletion of energy from control dramas. These are small or large, in fact it seems almost impossible not to manipulate or control in some way using control dramas. For example, a teenager needs to drive a friend to the airport. This person says I will bring you if you pay for gas. This is an intimidator. Demanding of something for something else, and then the friend might say oh but I have no money for gas and then they become the Poor me. This is a very small example but they happen on various scales each day. So how can we Break these control dramas?

 

1. let go of Competition– Instead of competing with others cooperate. This may mean doing things without need for anything in order to readily give. Instead do not expect anything from anyone just give readily.

2. Fear– Let go of fear and imposing it on other people. Fear is a useless emotion which has no positive outcome. being fearful of a negative outcome in your life will only result in exactly what you think. If you find yourself in a control drama with another then let go, walk away and find someone who will help you and wants to cooperate.Release all fear!

3. Action vs. Reaction– Do not react to people and what they say. This is the hardest of all in my opinion because we all have the need to defend ourselves is someone is taking our energy. Instead just know yourself and who you are. no one should and can affect who you are as a person and your belief is yourself.  Action on the other hand is moving towards what you are drawn to do and will help you and others around you without depleting energy. It will be easy and feel good. The best example of this is when Jesus said Turn the other cheek!

Therefore, In order to manage control dramas all you need to do is begin to manage your own energy. These things can be done by finding peace with in yourself. This is through letting go and centering yourself. There are many ways to do this different breathing techniques, having high self worth, meditation, etc…. It is really your journey and your choice.

 

good ways to retrain your brain and gain self worth see post below

 

http://happinessecrets.blogspot.com/2013/06/retrain-your-brain-my-favorite.html

 

http://happinessecrets.blogspot.com/2013/04/what-is-mindfullness-and-its-benifets.html

 

written by Nichole Grimshaw

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How do you find your Peace

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You can find NO peace unless you find it from within! I heard this statement today and wanted to expand on this idea. So many people look for happiness and peace from others around us or from material possessions. The true way to find peace is to begin to look at how we view our lives in our current state rather than always grabbing for more from people and things. If we are always chasing what might come next when will we find happiness. Ask yourself if you are always thinking ill be happy when________ happens. Or ask yourself how often you stop and Appreciate people, give back, and show gratitude for what you do have. This is an important step in finding peace from with in. The next important step in finding peace from with in is to start changing your belief in yourself. Start thinking about how you talk to yourself during the day. Do you use the word cant often? I encourage all people to start telling themselves how wonderful they are and encourage the things you believe you are great at! These two steps are an easy way to change your life now and become happier each and every day!

 

written by Nichole Grimshaw

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APPRECIATION THE KEY TO GETTING EVERYONE TO LIKE YOU

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When you meet someone who just seems to be loved by all people around them do you ever wonder what it is that draws people in. Many times we say it is charisma and charm, positivity or I have even heard people blame this likeability on looks. It is true that these things can make a positive first impression but they never sustain likeability. The one quality you do find amongst the most loved and respected people is there capability to appreciate the efforts and qualities of others around them. For example, Oprah one of the most loved people in the entire world gives back to millions of people and recognizes the strengths of others in the majority of her programs. Yet, when you look at her physically she is nothing special and still she has the ability to influence millions of us each and every day. Now Oprah has many ways to show appreciation to the people in her life and the world who deserve it but on a smaller level we can definitely begin to do the same things. Here are a couple of ways to show appreciation today for the people in your life who are amazing!

 

written by Nichole Grimshaw

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20 Simple Ways To Show Appreciation

Post written by Sherri Kruger
  1. A heart felt thank-you note/card.
  2. Gift certificate to their favorite coffee shop.
  3. Fresh baking for their early morning meeting.
  4. Fresh cut flowers to be passed around the office. Include a card that says: A little something to brighten your day. I’m yours for two hours then give me away.
  5. Invite your friend or co-worker out for a cup of coffee or a drink after work.
  6. Lend a hand when a friend or family member is painting or remodeling their home.
  7. If you know your friend wants to get organized but is having a tough time starting, buy them a book on organizing, some containers and nice notebook.
  8. Cook a meal so they don’t have to after a long day at work.
  9. Frame one of their favorite pictures.
  10. Share a plant or a plant clipping.
  11. Pick up some groceries and drop them off on your way home.
  12. Return a favor. If your neighbor always shovels your walk way or mows your grass get out there before him or her and do theirs for a change.
  13. Watch your niece or nephew for an afternoon to give their parents some time off.
  14. Make reservations at their favorite restaurant.
  15. Make a candle light dinner at home for your spouse.
  16. Give a hug. Yes it can be that simple.
  17. Tell them what you think they are particularly great at.
  18. Write notes to leave on a pillow, a computer keyboard, or in a lunch box.
  19. Give a hand made gift. Winter is in full swing here, so how about a knitted scarf or mitts? Or a center piece for their table.
  20. Make a special day just for them. Plan a day for them around what they enjoy. Go with them if it’s appropriate
  21.   http://www.zenfamilyhabits.net/2009/12/20-simple-ways-to-show-appreciation/

Self Sacrifice The Most Important trait of Unconditional Love

I was recently watching The hungers Games which tells the amazing story of a girls self sacrifice to save her sister and later on a boy from where her same district. Self sacrifice is defined as giving up ones self interests for the benefit of others or a cause. I find nothing in life more beautiful than self sacrifice. each and every time I experience someone showing true compassion and empathy in this way I am brought to tears. Giving up on our ego to save or help the ones we love is the highest purpose and form of love we can show. Think to yourself who you would be willing to sacrifice it all for and realize that is true the first trait of  unconditional love.

Power of Prayer, Trusting and Letting Go

 

 

I recently had a conversation with a dear friend of mine about what direction he is going in life. He seemed a bit lost at the time and I found myself feeling very concerned and confused for him. I knew that trusting in god and the direction is the way to go so I prayed for things to be resolved so he would be the amazing happy person I love so much again. Well, During This first conversation he was finding himself in the middle of other peoples controlling and egotistical problems which, in the case of all of our loved ones is not always something we can help. I knew he felt torn up and in the middle of it all. I could hear the frustration and anxiety in his voice at the time. He was also working hard, laboring hours with little reward or enjoyment at the time. I have always been deeply concerned for my friend and found his distress unnerving. I prayed for him to be the happiest he could be.

 

Then, Yesterday i received the best news I could. My friend called me and told me that he had stood up and quit working for the family that was dividing him and found a job leading worship and singing. He had even received a few gigs already. I could heard the joy in his voice and even as I write this I am almost in tears for how happy I am for him. Since the first moment I met my friend Brian I knew music was his passion and following it would bring him true joy. God answered his prayer and I am proud that he is brave enough and trusting enough to take the step blindly and follow the river before him down stream.

 

Please check out  http://www.briansmithmusic.com/ and share with anyone you can. This amazing person deserves all the support in the world…

 

 

 

 

 

 

written by Nichole Grimshaw

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Random Scribbbles about what I really want

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My entire life I was told everyone has a purpose and a reason for being here on earth. That there is a reason for everything however, I have a gut instinct that i need to do more and It has to be grand and big. I want to help the masses. Speak and give knowledge and purpose to so many. I have decided that everything I create, write, and do from here on out half of the profits will go towards helping others… I will donate half to someone in need or an organization. I want all people to be, Think and love more. I want people to see others and start to help other people like they help themselves and The best way I can think of is to continue to speak up against others who feel it does not matter and to help others to make there dreams come true and start to speak up as well. There is nothing we are not capable of and I want everyone to find true creative potential and experience everything they want in life. I want all people to find compassion, loyalty and trust in others. This means we need to start to think and act differently against what we are taught as children in school. I want to start to encourage peoples passions rather than teaching all children to memorize useless facts. I want to take an approach to education where students learn to write and communicate through their passions and we begin to look within ourselves for our worth rather than how we compare to everyone around us. I never want anyone to compare there strengths to others rather than help others and start to work together to make things more beautiful and more creative. I want to solve problems together through feelings rather than logical thought. I want people to believe again. I don’t care what they believe as long as we believe something. Today we are moving closer and closer to believing nothing. This is a sad boring and controlled world. I want choice, passion, and love!

 

 

written by NIchole Grimshaw

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What is Mindfulness ?

 

 

 

Mindfulness is a principal stemming out of Buddhist practices that help the mind relax and reflect which helps an individual gain greater awareness and understanding of themselves and the world. Mindfulness helps an individual see the true understanding of a situation, problem, or event by changing the perspective an individual views it from. Many people find they gain empathy and compassion for others around them through the regular practice of mindfulness as well as many other physical benefits.


some of the physical benefits of mindfulness are 


1. stress management- people who practice mindfulness tend to have a higher threshold for stress and stressful situations. people who gain ability to stop negative thoughts through mindfulness help individuals to reduce the feeling of stress in their body 


2. higher self esteem- people who practice mindfulness tend to have a feeling of higher greatness and a full belief that they can accomplish anything they want on their own and see solutions rather than problems in their life. 


3. greater energy and enthusiasm- people who have a practice of relaxation and quieting the mind tend to find themselves more energetic throughout the day and a love for learning and new activities. This has been linked to the ability to find peace in any situation as well as the belief in their own abilities.


4. improved sleep and health- one of the main causes for lack of sleep is restlessness, which is the opposite of mindfulness. the inability to stop thinking can cause people to have trouble sleeping and staying asleep throughout the night. The practice of controlling your thoughts and feelings will allow for a more controlled dreaming pattern and allow a person to fall asleep more easily. 



Now, you may be asking how you can practice mindfulness. Well the first step is learning to control thoughts. Many find meditation as a great way to find control of there thoughts. yet, so many of us need ways to control thoughts during daily activities as well. I find focusing on my breathing for a few minutes at a time a good way to push out the thoughts for a few moments in time. Prayer is also a great form of mindfulness (as long as you can let go afterwards) and music therapy is a great way to change your mood suddenly and start to create positive rather than negative thoughts. 

 

 

written by NIchole Grimshaw

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