So may people I meet have lost no hope to find the “right person” these days. Many go from one relationship to the other to find the one . This is something we are taught from very early on. I was one of these people and have made every classic mistake in dating that the experts will advise you not to do. Looking back at the mistakes I made and some of the silly advise from some of these experts and there books I am spending do much time reading I realized something; None of it really helped… It was not the mistakes I had made that destroyed the relationships, and these guys were not the devil incarnate. As soon as I came to terms with myself and stopped the games and unrealistic search things started to become much simpler and easier. Here is what happened
To begin, I had a thought that it was time to give up and come to terms with being alone. Now this is probably the complete opposite of what you want but I needed to realize that It was a possibility and face it like a man (lol) If like me this is a fear of yours then face it and come to terms with it because if you face your fear then there is nothing to fear any longer. So yes, I am recommending being alone for a while… I did this and it really changed my outlook and perspective. In fact I was still in this mindset when Ryan came in to my life and I have never been happier!
Next, I stopped worrying about why my ex’s hurt me, don’t call, play games and are a constant pain in my ass. I did something huge I changed my number and deleted there’s. I finally just said I am done with this garbage. They told me I was not good enough for them and honestly now that I look back thank god I wasn’t. I look back and think how much time I wasted on Men who rejected me it makes me sick. Instead I started spending my time having a good time with friends, making more friends, working hard, and for the first time thinking about myself and what I wanted in life…
lastly, Over this time I stopped thinking about the perfect man and began thinking about my perfect life. This change in accepting being alone and focusing on myself gave me the rare opportunity to create a true image of what I wanted my life to look like. I did not care any longer about qualities of a man, instead think about qualities of yourself and your life.
After all of these things happened to me I finally was no longer searching for a man and instead simply searching for a better overall life for myself. The ironic part is I found my prince charming just a few months later because I was no longer looking for the wrong things in life. He is perfect and if I did make a list of qualities in a man he is who I should have been looking for all along. I now focus on my dreams and am so happy with a man who supports me and loves me. If you want love then give up and love yourself first…
Written by Nichole Grimshaw
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